what do you do that gives you joy?

a very good question that leads to a variety of answers for me… but what it also brings to light is that i do a lot of things that don’t give me joy… and most of those things are my choices and i control them… so it begs the question: why do i do things that don’t bring me joy when i’m fully aware that they don’t bring me joy? what is the driving force behind this apparent insanity? do i really not give myself enough worth that i’d rather do things that don’t bring me joy when i know the simple things that can bring me joy? why can’t i realise that what i’m doing is not bringing me joy AND THEN CHANGE IT???? sometimes i feel like i’m a rather slow learner… i know what to do to make myself happy and joyful, yet i choose not to do those things…. it seems rather masochistic to me… i do need to change that… i do need to make the effort to love myself more so that i will be bringing joy into my life every day…

to keep with the theme of giving joy to oneself, here’s a short, but ever-growing, list of things that i love doing and that bring me joy:

  • photography – particularly with macro and nature
  • moving and traveling
  • exercising by myself
  • thinking about life
  • drawing in my journal
  • writing personal pieces for myself to help better understand myself
  • drinking coffee
  • learning new things
  • finding the “right” object to go in a particular space

i want to make the commitment to myself to actively try to do these things every day – not all of these things, but at least one or two… i want to free myself from the cycle of self hate… i want to love myself enough to do these things that bring me joy… i want to be free to be who i truly am… i want to be me… 100% no-holds-barred me…

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