must stop… must… stop…. arghh!!

must stop looking at jobs overseas… seriously… must stop… must… stop… oh dear… must stop!! bad t!

i think i’m going insane – i can’t settle and i thought i was happy here but am not… despite my realisation last week, i thought i could stay here… but i’m looking at things and thinking that i don’t want to be here… but leaving is hard, too… grr!!! i don’t know what to think or do… if i keep plugging away at it, i will probably convince myself that i’m okay here… but i’m not… and i don’t know what to do about it… i’ve looked at jobs in egypt – okay, but not clear on expectations… perhaps abu dhabi – perhaps asia again… but… oh… must stop… must… stop… looking… starting to pull hair out… in frustration…. grr!!! i think i need help… i don’t know what to do… i want to run away again… but… have… responsibility… oh to not be responsible…!!!

what do i do? what do i do?

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