Reflecting on the past 12 months…

So, this post is inspired a little by Estrella’s post on her top five moments of 2013 and a little on today being my birthday. It’s a good day to have a birthday, I think. I like the timing and the day of the year. It really suits me and I enjoy it a lot~ It also means that my Christmas and birthday are over pretty quick and I don’t really have to leave the festive mood once the new year begins…instead, I continue the celebration through to my birthday. One big, long celebration!

Anyway, the point of this post – my top five things in my something-something-th year of life. Here goes:

  1. I lived in Egypt for five months – wow and just WOW!!!!
  2. I travelled to Romania, met Estrella, made a lifelong friend, and was amazed by the country. It is a serious “must go now!” country. Really. I swear I’m not biased. Not a little. (Well, maybe just a *little* teeny bit…)
  3. I was able to seriously indulge in my reading addiction.
  4. I spent some amazing times with my other half. He’s amazing. Truly.
  5. I reconnected with my mother on such a deeper level. So good – so supportive – so beautiful.

It was difficult for me to pinpoint these moments, but they were there among many more moments. As I get older, I realise the value of my relationships and the value of experiences such as travel. I really do. Of course, when I was younger I had many amazing experiences but they were often tainted by following the crowd and not being sure of who I was. Every day I learn a little more about myself and I love myself a little more {in a deeply, honourably good way}. I surprise myself, too – both good and bad surprises. But it’s all part of what makes me who I am. And I love that.

Birthday roses

While this may not be the best photo, it is one full of meaning. Fresh roses picked from the garden at early-o’clock this morning especially for me. They smell divine and have been keeping me company all day while I work. ❤


Bonfire Heart – James Blunt


days like these lead to…
nights like this lead to…
love like ours…
you light the spark in my bonfire heart…


days like these lead me to you
to your arms
to your warmth

nights like this remind me why
you are my all
you are my only

love like ours gives us

you spark my flame
my flame ignites your heart
together we are everything
for each other
for us

feeding the fire


Donghaksa Temple, Daejeon, South Korea

It was a wintry day; the sky was full of clouds filled with snow just waiting to float down to earth. We walked along the path leading up to the ancient Buddhist temple. You took my hand in yours and shared your warmth, and your heart. As cold as it was around us, between us there was a fire – an eternal fire. Years before, we took a little spark and have been feeding it with love, trust, and experience. Our little spark has grown into a roaring fire and we continue to feed it, not wanting it to die out. Every day we feed more love and trust into our fire, and our experiences – both shared and independent – also give it more fuel to feed from. Our passion ignites us both, even on our tired and “bad” days. We could have melted all the snow around us and started a bushfire on this day, but we chose not to: it was too beautiful so we enjoyed the moments and treasure our memories.

supporting you

How can I support you when you won’t listen?
How can I support you when you don’t want to know?
How can I support you when you ignore me?

I want to support you; I want to be your rock; I want to be “there” for you. I’m here – right beside you – wanting to give you what you need right now. But you don’t want it; you don’t want to hear; you don’t want to know. You’re just too angry, too upset, too annoyed. What can I do?

I can wait for you. I will be here, waiting. I am here now and I will be beside you always. I am waiting: waiting for you to come back to me – waiting for you to be available – waiting for you to calm down.

I want to hold you and tell you that it’s all a mistake. I want to whisper in your ear that life goes on. I want to hold your hand, look into your eyes, and say “It will be okay”. I want to reassure you that this happened for a reason, that it was what needed to happen so that you can grow, that it is the right option right now.

You don’t want to hear this; you only see it as a mistake, a deliberate attempt to ignore you, a perfect lie. You don’t see it from their view: you don’t know their rules, their obstacles, their ignorance. You don’t want to like them – you want to hate them.

I know you love me, but shutting me out doesn’t help. You know I won’t go away – I’ll be here.

I’m here.



I know I’m not playing nice. I see it in my mind – I know I can do better, but I seem to be unable to put it into action. I know what I should do; I know what I should say. I don’t know why I don’t do it, and I don’t know why I am always forgiven. I want to be better – I want to be how I know I can be. I want to come back to being me!

How much do I love you?

You’ve never asked me this question, but I ask myself.

Every day, I wonder, how can I tell you how much?

I begin with the cliches: “I love you as deep as a river, as high as a mountain…”

But this wrong. Wrong in so many ways.

I’ve told you that I don’t have the words to explain my love.

You said I have a way with words.

You’re right; I do.

But I don’t have a way for this.

My love for you is larger than the distance between us;

it’s brighter than the full moon on a clear night;

it’s deeper than the darkest depths before the sun rises;

it’s warmer than soft puppies breath;

it’s that spark like a twinkling star at night;

it’s that hitch in my breath when your image pops into my head;

it’s that moment when my mind wanders and it wanders into your arms;

it’s my blood;

it’s my heartbeat;

it’s all that I am,

and more.

Simply, I love you.